yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
