i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
