my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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