I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
