We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
