Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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