Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
