I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
