i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Terrible idea I love it
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
