You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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