I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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