I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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