I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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