yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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