Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
