She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
