is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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