he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
