This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
