32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
