I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
