at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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