Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
