Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
