Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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