i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
