It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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