I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
