break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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