i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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