Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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