I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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