I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
