Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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