he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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