She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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