I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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