Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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