I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
