Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
