You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
