1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i out mim tonsoeep
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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