Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
