The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
