I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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