i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
