hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
