Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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