hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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