Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
