I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
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