My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
