Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
